The Coffee Date: Pros and Cons
Most rom-coms show first dates in the local coffee shop, with long and deep conversations over a beautiful cup of joe… But do you really want your first date in a coffee shop?
In this post we will discuss the pros and cons of the coffee date and whether or not it is a good call for a first date. Let's start with the positive side!
1. Meeting in public
First dates can be very scary and intimidating, so meeting in a public place with other people can definitely reduce the pressure of the situation. This is especially important if you have never met the person before. Seriously, if you are meeting somebody from Tinder or Bumble for the first time, meeting in public is key, and coffee shops are high profile and public enough to make sure it will be a safe meet up. Plus, there are many other people in the shop to offer help or bare witness if things get sketchy... Beyond this, all of the people in the shop or the different kinds of coffee or music can offer great conversation starters if things are starting off slow!
2. Coffee talk
As previously stated, being in a coffee shop provides instant conversation. You can talk about what you ordered, what others ordered, what coffee you haven’t tried, etc... Maybe one of you even has a super fun or embarrassing coffee story—there’s nothing like a fun story to shake the first-date nerves! Coffee shops are also generally pretty quiet which makes for an intimate but not intimidating place to talk, joke, and relax.
3. Super casual
Most if not all coffee shops are very casual and do not require a big dress up. This means jeans, leggings, casual shoes, whatever is comfortable and cute. Keeping it casual can make dates much less stressful because there isn’t a worry of what is “right” to wear. The atmosphere of coffee shops is also super laid back so there it is easy to feel comfortable and really get to know the other person, rather than worrying about the crazy couple next to you or what the world might be thinking about how the date is going. Reduce pressure and stress whenever possible!
4. Option to continue the date
Let’s say that the date is going extremely well, you both are enjoying one another’s company, and you want to continue the date elsewhere. This is such an easy option with a coffee shop date! Either of the daters can offer an alternative plan, like food or drinks, and can leave the coffee shop at any time to keep the good times rolling. You can even opt to take your coffee to go and go for a walk around the neighborhood, walk to museums, or sit outside and people-watch. The possibilities are endless!
5. Option to bail
Unfortunately, not all people are a match, therefor there will be bad dates. Conversation could run dry, one of the people could be kind of wacky, or maybe the person hasn’t showered in a week and you just need to get out of there. Whatever the reason for the bad date, it is very easy to leave a coffee shop vs. other date venues. For example, if you are at dinner with a date and its going terribly, it is very hard to escape half way through the appetizers. At a coffee shop, due to its casual nature, there is no structure to the date that would have to be broken in order to leave. You could make up some emergency or just cut it short without causing a scene or disrupting the entire establishment. Pro tip: if the date is going that badly, blame your exit on a sick pet. Who can be mad at a fluffly lil pup, anyways?
Lastly, but most importantly, coffee dates are very cheap. Other common first date options like dinner, movies, fairs, or drinks can really wrack up a fat check. For those of you not trying to break the bank on a first date or at all, keeping things coffee can really save you money and transportation costs.
1. Bad lighting
This one might not seem like a big deal, but on a first date you really want to be able to see your date! Some coffee shops are super dark and make it hard to clearly see all the beautiful or not so beautiful traits of your date. Hopefully, personality makes up a large portion of why you are on this date, but there’s nothing wrong with making sure you like their face too!
2. Standing in line
Talking from experience, there is nothing more awkward than waiting in line to order coffee with somebody you barely know. You might be looking at the menu, trying to decide what to order and not really listening to the other person. It is also awkward trying to figure out who orders first, who is paying, whether you stand side-by-side or in line, where to sit after, where to wait while the coffee is being made—so many things to consider!!!
3. Middle of the day (hard to schedule)
For those of you who are busy worker bees, coffee dates can be challenging to fit into your hectic daytime schedules. Most people try not to drink caffeinated beverages late at night, which means coffee is reserved for the mornings or afternoons. Sometimes, there just isn’t time in the day for the hour long coffee date.
4. Others can listen in
We have already established that coffee shops can be busy which can act as a conversation catalyst or make things really weird. There is nothing worse than feeling like your flirty conversations are being heard by your judgmental neighbor who is typing aggressively on their computer. Coffee shops can also be in close quarters, making it hard to feel like you and your date are getting your own space to talk and get to know each other free of judgment and watching eyes.
5. Don’t like coffee (rare but happens!)
Quite frankly, if you or your date doesn’t like coffee… it might be time to keep looking for someone who does. Coffee is so delicious and it is darn important to date somebody who shares your passion for caffeinated beverages! If this is really an issue, however, try and recommend a decaf option, hot chocolate, or tea!